Monday, March 26, 2012

How I Do "It"

People often say to me, "I don't know how you do it." I think about that statement often. Mostly because I'm honestly not sure how I do "it" or what exactly what "it" is. I guess "it" is just our life. I think the most difficult aspect to "our life" is choices. I've come to realize that Seth and I are consistently making very difficult choices. Prayerfully. Years ago, these choices were excruciatingly difficult for me even after prayer.
 Raising and supporting 3, 4 and now 5 kids with a husband in school full time seemed impossible to me most days. I would wake up with panic attacks trying to figure out how I could manage it. Where would the finances come from? How would my kids adjust? How could I keep up with housework?

God started speaking to me pretty clearly after Rowan was born that certain things would have to fall away during this season of life. I made a list of priorities: God, my husband, my children and family, my church family, my students. This was it. I tried to focus on these ministries in my life. The ministry of wife, mother, daughter, servant, worshiper, teacher. This may have created a situation where friendships became difficult to maintain and sometimes it has felt lonely, but God has and a constant and faithful friend to me. Seth and I are moving into a season now that has the potential to be even more scary for me. In fact, I think it may be downright crazy. I also believe it is an important part of our growing and strong testimony to God's amazing love and faithfulness. I'm looking forward to see what miracles God has planned down this path. I know the beauty is in the journey, the bumps, the messy muddy parts too. This is what I know. I know that I can't do it. But, I also know who can and my faith rests in Him.

Let all that I am praise the LORD; with my whole heart, I will praise his holy name. Let all that I am praise the Lord; may I never forget the good things he does for me. Psalm 103:1-2

A lazy Saturday afternoon around the table.

I recently found a few Easter gifts that I forgot to put in the Easter baskets in my closet. Oops! So since the weather wasn't great afternoon I decided to give them out after the kids cleaned their rooms. They were glow in the dark art sets and they had hours of fun running in and out of the bathroom to see their masterpieces light up. Did I tell you these were buy one get one free and I had coupons? ;) Money well spent!