Saturday, January 26, 2008

Learning more then I teach.... being more then I am.

This past week as been full of so many lessons for me. Last Saturday I had about 40 students perform at district solo and ensemble, almost 30 of those 40 got 1st division. It is the best my students have ever done at Solo and Ensemble. Of all those 1st place divisions the two students that taught me the most is my learning challenged student Sarah (name has been changed) and my emotionally scarred student Jason (name also changed). Sarah has been learning the same two songs with me for three years. She has worked so hard. She has awful anxiety about singing and three years ago I'm not sure I ever dreamed she would ever be able to sing at solo and ensemble. Last Saturday she did. She got a 1st! When I told her she and her parents all burst into tears a joy. Her dreams and three years of work paid off. She was beaming with pride and accomplishment.
Then Jason. He was left with his brothers in a crack house abandoned by his mother. Now raised by his grandparents. He just wants love. He also sings with all of his heart. He managed to pull the worst solo and ensemble judge in the history of the MSVMA. When he was finished the woman proceeded to rip him apart making him cry. This is a big, strong wrestler type boy. He is tough. He does not cry easily although I know he often has reason to do so. This judge told him that he shouldn't sing. She actually told him to look into playing an instrument instead of singing. She broke his heart. His dreams were crushed.
I guess you could say the mama in me came out. I went up to the judge and told her how very proud I was of him. She just rolled her eyes at me.
I went to Jason and we talked as he cried. I stood up for him. I know he now trusts me even more. I told him to sing on and he is.
These two situations made me realize how important my role as a teacher is. I am the holder of many dreams. It also made me think of God's love. Some days we get a 1st place other days 3rd seems even too lofty a goal. I pray that the Lord guides my words, my actions and my teaching.
I know that they hold so much weight on the hearts of the children I teach. I am thankful for the opportunities it brings to help them grow. One day I am going to write a book about my students. The hundreds of kids I think about every day. Each one with a different story. Each one with a song to sing. I pray they are still singing today.
This week I am taking my own kids Ryan and Ruby to a new doctor to help us on the Aspergers journey. I am praying this weekend that he gives me information and guidance so I can help my children. I know God has special plans for them. They are filled with such joy. Tonight Ruby informed me that I can no longer call her Ruby Olivia She has officially changed her name to Ick Sweetapple! Lord help me!

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